i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
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