this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Randomize
