Yo dont text me then not text me
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
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