Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
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