just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
