I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Randomize
