yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Sober January is a disaster.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Randomize
