We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
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