Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I showed him my bush... on skype.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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