I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
