Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
