Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Holy sore nipples Batman
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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