And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
