this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
