she woke up with a sticky ear
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
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