3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
