Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
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