I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
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