Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Randomize
