Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize