im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
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