i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Randomize
