let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
