The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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