it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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