Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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