Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
