Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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