I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
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