so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Randomize
