I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Randomize
