And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
