420 ftw
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize
