all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
My feet surprised me
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
