I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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