Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
