Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
