I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
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