yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
