I want to make a zoo with you.
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
