ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
