i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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