cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
My pussy is not your playground.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
