remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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