Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I am one with the molecules
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
