i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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