Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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