That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
