Why are handjobs necessary in class?
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Randomize
