Old men and throwing up are my life now.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
