Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Randomize
