Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
