I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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