How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
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