I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
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