Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
