I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Randomize
