I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize