Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
