Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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