I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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