weddingsv make me drug and hornr
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
