I got her a Nickelback box set.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
