but the lizard people decide everything anyway
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
