He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Randomize
