He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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